Oddities, Profundities, Profanities and Dad Stuff

Category: Observations (Page 13 of 24)

Lessons learned from NOT Deer Hunting.

Mule deer (Odocoileus hemionus) in Modoc Count...
Image via Wikipedia

This last weekend was the general Deer Hunt here in Utah.  We don’t have a huge season here like in other parts of the country so it is kind of a big deal.  I haven’t been hunting for several years and I was thinking about that this weekend.

I was sitting in the rocking chair feeding my 3 1/2 month old son and I started to wonder if I was being a good parent to my kids, not getting them out and into the woods for the deer hunt.  I wonder if I am slacking on my fatherly duties to teach my kids about the animals and what to do out in their environment.

I have written before about taking the kids out and teaching them to shoot, to pass along those traditions.  (Part 1 and part 2)I would truly like to see them love the outdoors as much as I do.  But, then there is the quandary.  It is really hard to take kids out where there are people with guns.  It is hard to take a 7 year old boy who is almost convinced he is a racecar (complete with actual volume sound effects) out into a place where you REALLY need to be quiet.

It is inconceivable to me to take an infant out into the cool October weather.  My sister got roped into a camping trip in October with her last baby and spent a week in the hospital with him.  Not pleasant.  All of that being said the argument can be made for “Why don’t you go by yourself?”  Here is my take on that.

The deer hunt is more than just going out and shooting at deer.  There is a whole social dynamic of being in a deer camp with others.  A deer camp can iconically be thought of as a group of men getting together and having a party before getting up early to hunt.

Now, there are women who hunt.  There are lots of them.    My Grandma was a better shot than my Grandpa, and he was damn good.  My aunts shoot and hunt.  Back in the day, it was necessary for food, not just sport.  But they still had a good time.  I am not taking anything away from women hunters, I would never try and stop a woman from being in a deer camp where I am.  I wish my wife would come hunting with me.

I know anyone can enjoy the outdoors.  But still, the perception is men.  Men bringing their sons to the woods for rights of passage.  I keep thinking I am slacking for not doing that yet.  I came to realize that I am not slacking, my sons just are too little to go right now.  I am impatient.

I was reading an outdoor magazine this last week and saw these 9 and 10 year old kids getting their first deer.  I thought, my daughter is 10, just like this girl who was in the magazine.  My daughter didn’t really care for shooting though.  Ok not her, but my 7 year old can come with me and get his by 8 right?  Wrong.  I have spent 36 years in Utah and didn’t realize that the law says you have to be 12 to hunt here.  I feel better now, I have 5 years to get him trained, and 12 to get my youngest trained.  If the girls want to come, they are welcome as well.

I would live to see a time when the whole family goes out and camps, the boys heading out for deer, the girls playing around camp and all of us perfectly happy.  But I have time for all of that later.

I came out of this reverie and realized that what was important right now was taking care of the kids.  There really is nothing better in this world than holding an infant, your infant, in your arms until they fall asleep.  They love and trust you completely.  I carried him to bed and while looking in his little face I knew that this was the time to be HERE, there would be plenty of time for the woods later.  I then looked across the room at his brother, and realized that I had work to do on him, but the imagination and fire of a 7 year old is nothing to put on hold.  He will only be like this right now.  It is something to embrace.

The woods will still be there when they get older and if we vote right, the politicians will not be able to stop us from carrying on the traditions of the past.  Open warning to all bucks in Utah, I am coming, and I bring the apocalypse, errr Cameron and Tristan.  Wait for us and grow big, so we can have a picture like the ones my grandparents had of their deer hunts in the ’40s.  I realize that I am doing just fine, there is plenty of time.

Now, if you will excuse me, I think I will try to go fishing.  They all like fishing.

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3 types of Riff Raff in the Hardware Store

I went to the hardware store today.  One of the big chains that is blue and rhymes with clothes.  It is not far from my house so I tend to go there quite often.  Well, today it was very nice here in Salt Lake City and there were lots of people buying yard related things.

I was mostly looking at plants but I needed a PVC fitting and some rivets so I traversed the store to get these.  I covered most of the store and observed 3 distinct types of Men in the store.

First, there were the guys who were there for the community.  I really was convinced these older gentlemen were there to have a good time and pick up something small if it was needed.  They were talking to the clerks like they were old friends and it struck me that they were there a lot.

Second, There were guys that were there to complete the “Honey Do” list.  That was me.  These are guys that have the wife with them or are on the cellphone or just have a list to fill.  These guys may want to be there, they may want to be anywhere else.  They may just want to go home (hint hint).  They are out to get what they need and go.

Third, there are the guys who shop like my dad.  Every trip into the store is a combat experience.  Infiltrate.  Extract item.  Checkpoint Cashier.  Exfiltrate.  They get in, get what they need and get out.  This is usually good for me too.

I was just interested to see that I could lump people into 3 basic categories.  BTW, I have to go back this afternoon for some tiller parts.  I will by guy #3 this afternoon.

Any thoughts?  I would love to hear them.

-Justin

PS  I have decided that at least for tomorrow, Wenesday, I am not going to post something.  I need to focus on some other writing.  I am working on the e-book for Fiction Saturday, it may be different than all of the blog posts.  Details later.  And the finale may NOT be on Saturday…we will see!

Headaches of Summer, First World Problems

A typical home air conditioning unit.

A typical home air conditioning unit. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Summer is finally hitting Utah.  Heat is on the way up and relief is not in site, at least from Mother Nature.  I finally broke down and turned on my air conditioner to cool the house down and, as a result, try and break my daughters fever.  Both seemed to work out.

The biggest issue was with the Air conditioner itself.  It didn’t cool very well.  It did ok, but not well.  Since I am renting this place I called up the rental company and they sent a guy out to look at it.  He told me that the condensate drain line was getting clogged.  Then he fixed it and I am sure he nailed the rental place with a tidy sum.

Now, you all know from this blog that I like to do things myself.  I fix what I can on the cars, what plumbing I can do, and whatever miscellaneous crap needs to be done.  So, knowing that this would probably happen again, I hit google to see what I could find.

I found what condensate drain lines did.  They drain off the water that the air conditioner gets from the condensation in the air.  They have water in them, they are always wet.  They grow algae.  They get clogged.  This is an issue with coolers, ice machines and other refrigeration devices.  They then need to be cleaned.  It is a pain in the butt to say the least.

There are many ways to clean these drains, including just replacing them.  Most methods use some form of bleach and or cleaners to get the algae out.  You have to disassemble some, you can sort of get into others.  You can call the HVAC guy but they are going to be super busy on the hot day when you need them.  I did find something cool though.  It is called the Clog Popper.  It goes into the drain line and sucks out the algae.  It fits all sorts of drains and is made in the good old USA.  You have to love products like that in these days of everything being made in freaking China.  Plus they will give you a lifetime warranty and money back guarantee.  Personally, I am going to buy one to have when I move into my own house.

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How to write a killer fast blog post.

Hey There!  Today i am actually going to give some instructions!  I know, but don’t unsubscribe yet.

Have you ever needed to crank out a blog post in record time?  I know I have.  The best solution for this situation is to Pre-Write a bunch of posts and keep them in Queue. Read this page for more.

I have squandered my 2 weeks worth of posts so I really need to re-write the pre-write.  But say you don’t have a post to get out, and you really want to.  Here is what I do.

Shut down everything on your browser except for your wordpress editor.  If you use something else like Word or the like just have that open.  Sit down and clear your mind.  What is the first thing that pops into your head?  Really, the first thing no matter how obscure.

My first thought?  Boondoggle.  Very obscure.  So now you have a topic be it boondoggle, purple unicorns, or wordpress plugin updates.  That is what you will roll with.

Don’t even write a title to this right now.  Go to the body of the post and start to write.  You only need to write 100 words or so in this stage.  If this were an infomercial I would say “In only 100 words you too can have a killer fast blog post!  Send 19.95 now for an amazing offer!  But wait there’s more!  Order now and have your order doubled only fo rthe price of shipping and processing!”

See what a good deal you are getting just for reading today?  Anyway, start with a short, modest goal.  You will be surprised at how quickly a post can bloom from 100 words to 5 or 600 or more!

Take your topic, (boondoggle) and write what you know about it.  Don’t research or even look at anything yet, just use your brain.  I could write,

Does anybody remember boondoggle? That wonderfully cheesy plastic cord that the camp counselors showed you how to weave into great keychains? How you just wanted more of the stuff to make more and more intricate keychains without caring what the ultimate point was? It was a lot of fun when I was younger and I rediscovered some of that when my daughter was getting her kidney transplant.

All of that in only 67 words. The most amazing part, I jut got boondoggle in my head, started writing about something simple from camp and ended up circling back around to my daughters transplant.  There is more to be written about that and in the end will probably have nothing to do with boondoggle.

Come up with the first title that hits your mind, the more snarky the better, like “Boondoggle and Transplants: Summer camp to lifesaving days”  Ok that is not very snarky but should bring a viewer or two.

So here is a quick blog post that I started on a whim and now it is topping 500 words.  It isn’t hard to start and get something going without a lost of work.

Of course, you can make it a detailed post and search the net for history of boondoggle and include patterns and theories and funny anecdotes from retired camp counselors about how boondoggle saved the camp when they wove fishing nets so they didn’t starve in the summer of ’87 or how they used that same net in ’88 to hold the dam back and save the camp from flooding.

But that is too much work.  Keep it simple.

Tomorrow is fiction Saturday!  The Man in the Hazy Suit continues!

Have a great weekend

-Justin

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