Catharsis of the Bogue

Oddities, Profundities, Profanities and Dad Stuff

Page 31 of 76

What Makes YOU Wonderful?

Hello everyone.  Today I have another question.  This one is for you to answer to yourself.

What makes YOU wonderful?  What is it about you that you like? What will you tell yourself in the mirror today?

If you are like me you try to pretend some humility and it is hard to talk about yourself.  It is hard to look in the mirror and TELL yourself something positive, what is good about you.  By tell I mean to actually stand there and say out loud what you think is good about you to yourself.

Once you can tell yourself something good about you without laughing, you are talking to your subconscious.  When you belive it your mind will turn its efforts to making it happen.

Saturday Night Live used to have a segment called daily affirmations and at the end of every one he would say, ” ’cause I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.”  Many philosophies use some sort of affirmation, or mantra, or prayer to focus the mind.  Repetition will “make” things happen for you, if you engage your mind to a specific end.

So for today, What makes YOU, yes you sitting there staring at the screen with a semi blank expression thinking I have lost it, What makes YOU wonderful?  Think of something.  Think of something positive that makes you fantastic.  Go tell yourself in the mirror 5 times.  No one else has to know unless you want to share it with the world in a comment.

Go! Get to it and we will all be better people!

Justin

Migraines and recognizing them

Migraine aura. Visual phenomenon before migrai...
Image via Wikipedia

Ok, so if you have read this blog for a while now, you will have seen that I have ranted about migraines a time or two.  I am not just talking about a really bad headache or something that you are trying to get sympathy for.  I mean a real down and out kick you square in the ass migraine.  Like I have also said before, I don’t know what causes them, I just know (now) that I get them.

I even had one today, Sunday, for no good reason.  It was a beautiful day, it had snowed last night so I got to get out my snowblower and plow.  that is always so much fun for me that I don’t see how it could give me problems.  But it did.  I came in and was hanging out with my kids before church and there is the sparkly not quite there but it is aura that signals a migraine.  (See the picture over there?  it is kind of like that but bigger.  You can also think of looking at a lake just at sunset when you get a really blinding sun reflection and there is just enough chop to the water to make it shimmer.)

So I take my medicine, (Maxalt prescription stuff and 2 Aleve.  If you know Aleve or Naproxen Sodium, the usual dose is 1 pill and then another in 3-4 hours if the pain hasn’t gone away.  My doctor recommended 2 to start and try to head off the pain.) All seems to go well after the med have kicked in, I feel ok and we head to church.  While we are there, the bad men with the vise come in and attach it to my head.  And then begin to twist.  I know from experience that without the medication this would have been one of the incapacitating migraines.  But I soldier on, not letting my brain put me to sleep.  After all, I had Sunday School to teach.

I tell you that story to bring up the point of my post today.  Recognizing the migraine.  You can search all over the web and find better descriptions of different headaches than I am going to regurgitate here.  What you need to learn today is to recognize a migraine.  And not just for yourself, for your kids as well.

Way back when when Hair Bands and arena rock were big and Grunge was not yet established, I started having migraines.  at the time I didn’t know what they were.  I just thought that I was sick a lot.  I would get these at least once a week, be sick for most of the day and then be OK in the afternoons to night.  My parents thought I was faking being sick to get out of things and so dismissed them.  I had aa few on family vacations that kept me out of attractions or from doing hikes and the like.  My parents were convinced I was just sickly.

When I finally found out that I had migraines I vowed never to ignore the symptoms if my kids started having them.  There is a direct link in genetics for migraines.  But since my parents don’t get them they don’t exist.  In the words of my Dad, “It takes years to diagnose migraines, you can’t have that after only one Dr. visit.”  B.S.  I told the doc what I had, he chuckled and said “Classic Migraines, here is a prescription, let us know how it works.”   I was relieved at that because someone had finally validated me being sick and not just something in my head.  Well it is directly in my head but not psycologically.

Anyway, it took 3 days worth of migraines and my nursing student girlfriend, (now my Nurse wife) to see that I needed something.  They had been getting worse and worse over the months.  We went to the ER and I got a shot of Imitrex and it stopped the migraines cold.  It was fantastic.

Anyway, before all of that, some of the first migraines I had scared me to death.  Some of the first ones I can remember started with a “creeping numbness” that started in my little finger and proceeded up my arm and into my face.  I always knew that in the next four hours or so I would have a blinding headache, throw up 3-4 times and after a bit of sleep I would feel better.  If I had known earlier what that was I could have done something about it.

My point today, of you have a bad headache chances are it is not a migraine.  If you have a bad headache with bright flashes or numbness, sensitivity to light and nausea, see a doctor, it could be a migraine.  If your kids complain about any of the above, get them check out and save them years of discomfort.

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Fiction Saturday 2! Jackson Malone part 2

If you haven’t read part 1 yet, this will make next to no sense.

When we left our story last time:

As I got to the entrance to the alleyway and ducked the yellow crime scene tape, the scents of feces and urine joined the smoke.  Rotting garbage made its appearance, further assaulting my nose as I entered.  The sun was high over head, if filtered by high clouds, and it was easy to see the stained concrete and the graffiti on the walls; as well as the door to the warehouse, jimmied open.  It was on my right about thirty yards ahead of me.

And now to today’s installment:

I started towards the door,  hearing only the sounds of traffic and my shoe leather scraping on the worn concrete.  As I passed the dumpster something stirred loudly.  I instinctively spun, my .38 finding its way into my hand as I crouched and aimed at the sound.

It was only a cat.  It went running away from me down the alley.  I breathed as deeply as I dared in the fetid air and stood, keeping the .38 low but in my hand.  I did not want any more surprises.

I reached the door without further incident and peered into the gloom through the partially open door.  I could see nothing.  I backed against the wall next to the door, held my .38 at the ready and pushed it open.

Following a rush of smoke scented air, nothing moved.  I turned and entered the building slowly, leading with my pistol, ready for any movement or confrontation.  As I walked further into the building the gloom increased until I could hardly see.

I took out my lighter and spun the wheel, igniting the familiar yellow glow.  The flame’s light barely pierced the gloom, but it was enough to keep me from walking into fallen roof beams and from stepping into piles of burned refuse.

The smell of humans, unwashed and uncaring was everywhere.  Sweat and the reek of stale urine were nearly overpowering, if tempered by the sooty smell of smoke. There was no one here now that I could see, but the night must have seen the place filled.  It was still dry under the partial roof.   I walked further into the building looking for some clue relating to the late Nelson Moran.

My lighter was getting hot and I extinguished it, wishing I had brought the flashlight from my car.  As my eyes adjusted to the gloom I began to make out shapes, neatly arranged on the floor.  These must have been where people slept.  There were piles of cardboard and newspaper, orderly and arranged in precise rectangles, each to his own space.  This looked to be pretty well organized.

I walked over to a window that was covered by a piece of dirty canvas and peered out a small tear.  I only saw the empty street.

“What the hell are you doin’ here?”  A voice said from behind me.  “You don’t belong here.”   I spun around, my .38 still at the ready, and looked for the source of the voice.  I said to the darkness, “I’m looking for Nelson Moran.”

“He ain’t here.  He’s dead across the street.  And you gonna be the same.”  I heard the tell-tale snap of a semiautomatic pistol being cocked and dove to the floor as the first shot exploded into the darkness.

I rolled and tried to gauge the direction of the shooter.  Another shot rang out.  This time the muzzle flash ruined my night vision, but gave away his position.  He fired again.  I rolled to my left, steadied, and squeezed the trigger on my .38.  A scream followed by a thump answered the bark of my pistol.  I stood and struck my lighter again.

Feeble light filled the space around me as I picked my way towards the fallen man.  I thought he must be dead, but I held my gun ready knowing that he could just be playing possum.  As I neared him, I knew he wasn’t playing.  Sirens started and were getting louder as I rolled the body over with the toe of my shoe.

I had hit him cleanly in the chest.  He was dead.  Shell casings all around him and a statement from me would establish self-defense.  I wasn’t however, on the best terms with the police chief right now.  I didn’t need another incident like the one that took my badge.

The memory came back unbidden and nothing else mattered at the moment.  There I was, dazed, waking up from being knocked out.  I looked around trying to get my bearings.  My gun and nightstick were gone.  Probably taken by the guys who assaulted me.  I stood, controlling a wave of nausea and turned to find a body at my feet.

I would have thought him asleep if not for the pool of blood he was lying in.  I turned him over and saw the ragged holes in his chest.  Placed just the way they had taught us to shoot at the Academy.  I vaguely remembered someone rushing me with a knife.  Had I shot him?  I may have.

I smelled my fingers.  Cordite.  The smell of burnt gunpowder was in the air. I had recently fired my gun that was now missing.  I looked down at my clothes.  My uniform was unrecognizable.  It was torn to shreds and all emblems had been ripped off.  No one could ever know me as a cop.

Tune in next week for part 3 of Jackson Malone!

I Won A Cruise! A Very Strange Dream…

I had a strange dream the other night that I am not really sure what to do with.  Of course the thing to do is to share it on my blog. It isn’t very long, but it was strange.

Now, the dream.  I was sitting at home in my living room reading a magazine.  It must have been very enthralling because the phone rang and I threw the magazine in the air rushing to get the phone.  At this point I knew it was a dream because I have an answering machine if I am slow.  I don’t hurry to the phone.  But I did here. I didn’t even bother with the caller ID. (another dead giveaway this was a dream)

“Hello” I answered. “Hello sir! You have just won an all expense paid cruise to the Caribbean!” The voice from the other end said. “Great” I replied. “What do I have to do?” “Nothing.” they said. “Do you accept the cruise?” “Sure” I said not realizing what was to be involved.

A few days later a package arrived with details on my cruise.  I was going to be picked up from the airport in Miami and driven in a limo to the cruise line.  Everything was paid for, all I needed to bring was a set of old clothes, a shovel, and a cat no one would miss. This made me nervous.  Not for very long though, I had almost figured out how to get the shovel through security.

An internet search of large orange colored home improvement stores showed me where I could just buy a shovel. The old clothes were no problem, but where to get the cat…

The dream ended with me walking to an old girlfriends house carrying a pet box.

I am not sure what any of it meant at the time or has to say about my sanity, lack of it, or what can be interpreted by it. I am fairly sure I need to go hunting though….

Comments would be appreciated!
-Justin

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