Hey everyone, I hope you are jazzed for the weekend. I know I have been neglecting my Fiction Saturday lately, so I am sorry. Tomorrow will be no different. I am heading out to Kidney Kamp with my kids so I am going to run all of the Man with the Hazy suit posts and then end it with a bang in a couple of weeks!
As for today, it is stay at home dad time. I realized some thing this week. Actually I have been observing it for 2 months now, but I am finally writing about it. What I am talking about is my new son. As I sit and hold him or play with him now that he is learning how to smile and laugh, I realize that there is never going to be another time just like this one.
I thought back to my other 3 kids and realized the same thing. There were several points that I needed to remember, that was all I got. Even with Amelia’s dialysis and transplant, there were several things that were so worth remembering. How she acted while all of these horrible things were being done to her and how tolerant a one year old could be. There is another post about that later.
What I wanted to bring up is this little sound clip, Amelia speaks mouse. She was 2 when I recorded this becasue she loved to sit and watch “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” during the 4 hours of dialysis. This is a time I can’t get back, but I have a record of it. Pictures and even video provide that same memory jog that is needed, because that moment is only here right then.
Like I started with, I was thinking of this post when I was watching my newborn son, right after he fell asleep in my arms. I studied the patterns of his sparse hair, the cadence of his breathing, the set of all of the wrinkles and fold of his face. I was totally into just that moment. Another time in a very similar situation my wife asked if I wanted her to take him and I said no, this was a time to just be here, because he would never be that exact age again, doing those exact things.
These first two months of a new baby have really made me look at how my life was spinning. That new baby forced me to slow down. He forced me to sit in a chair and hold him without a mouse in the other hand or the soft glow of the monitor to illuminate the night. I watched more movies during this time than I have in the past 2 years.
These are all times I would never change. These are the times I am so thankful that I am a stay at home dad. These are the times when I pray that I will be able to continue to stay home and watch my kids grow. I have always been close to them but there were the times when they would do something fantastic and I was at work. There were also the times when I was right there.
Like the time Leatha, my oldest (now 10!) showed up just outside of the kitchen when I walked out. She was just barely standing a couple of days previous, and I looked for my wife to be right there, but she was on the couch across the room. Leatha had walked all be herself across the room. I turned her around and sent her back to Mom, and I saw her independence start. I can’t forget that moment even should I want to.
This is part where I get preachy. This is the time to look into your kids personality. This is the time to be with them and memorize the freckles that come in when they play in the sun. There will never be another time just like right now. If you keep putting off the time investment, saying I will do it tomorrow, you will lose out. There will not be those cute kids learning how to talk and walk. There will not be the chance to look into new eyes and see the synapses fire as he realizes that I am his dad.
There is so much good in being a DAD. I was playing with the baby yesterday and my wife said someting to the effect of is that a very manly way to act? I said maybe not, but it is the Dad way to act. That is more important with these kids, to be their dad. They can learn to be Men later.
Sneak peak at next week: Puberty….
Thanks for reading, please comment below!
-Justin
