Catharsis of the Bogue

Oddities, Profundities, Profanities and Dad Stuff

Tag: kids (Page 6 of 7)

Constantly Amazed: Chronicles of a 8 month old.

September 26, 2013 / / 1 Comment

8 months ago Tristan, my second son was born.  Despite everything that went on at the first, he is growing like a weed and doing all of the normal things that babies should be doing.  Even though he is my 4th child and I have watched the other three go through these same phases and it always amazes me that A- human babies do the same things as they develop, and B- they are constantly intrigued and amazed with the world.

Little brains are empty but tend to fill up with everything even though short term memory is really short.  String gets forgotten for toes, they get forgotten for remote controls, they get forgotten for the phone when it rings.  And put Mom on the speaker phone from work and the kid can’t figure it out.

Another fun toy: Ceiling fans.  Turn one of those on and it is good for at least a few minutes.  It is fun watching Tristan learning to rollover and try to crawl.  That should be sometime this week if it keeps going like it is.  It does really make me reflect on my other kids and how they developed the same way.  And differently!

Readers of this blog now know that my oldest is 10 going on 23.  Thinking back 10 years to when she was rolling over and trying to crawl puts somewhat of a sad smile on my face.  I love to remember all of them doing the same things but knowing that this is the last one is kind of sad.  Watching the baby jump up and down in the exer-saucer reminds me of my other son.  And how this will be the last one to use it….for a while.

The next 8 month old I will be observing will be my Grandchild, and good grief I am starting to think I am getting older.  I still feel like a kid but, wow.  So for now, I will be watching every tiny move that Tristan makes.  I have been very lucky to have been home to watch my kids grow up.  Seeing most of their milestones has been a fantastic experience that I can’t recommend highly enough.

It is fantastic even if you are not home watching the kids, it is exciting to go from something that just cries and poops to one that plays and is watching everything around his world with a smile to one who can do things for you and take the garbage cans out.  Benefits to having older kids even though I don’t trust them to mow the lawn; my wife wants to mow patterns and words into the lawn and I am not having any of that.

But back to the baby, we notice that he (like the others) finds EVERYTHING interesting.  Small bits of paper, shoes, and socks are great chew toys and I am convinced that it gives them a leg up on imagination later in life.  Case study: my nephew vs Cameron my 7 year old.  Nephew: loves sea life and dinosaurs.  Will play with them only how they were meant to be played with.   Cameron: loves cars and anything with wheels.  Plays with anything and everything in some way that makes them go fast and crash or transform into something else.  Drives my nephew nuts when a tyrannosaurus is riding a truck and jumps off to kill ninjas before the Army takes the dinosaur out.

Imagination rocks, I can’t wait to get him writing.  My 4 year old has a great imagination as well, the tales she was spinning for the kidney clinic staff the other day were hilarious.  The doctor was literally wiping his eyes from laughing so hard at this 4 year old in a princess dress.  I can only hope that Tristan will follow suit and be creative, just because we let him wander around his world and explore as long as he is safe about it.

I can’t wait for the long term ride that this is becoming.  Thanks for dropping by folks, there will be more to come I am sure.

-Justin

PS. I am working on a program that will be part instruction, part support group, part mastermind group and all about being a stay at home dad, released in modules until a whole book is finished.  Look for more details to come and let me know if you are interested in joining me.  Thanks again.

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How teaching my daughter to write is helping me.

September 20, 2013 / / 2 Comments

I started my blog earlier this year as a way to kick start my writing career.  That has evolved a bit, but the main purpose is still writing.  Because of my writing, my daughter has shown some interest.

She was bored on a Sunday because we wont let them watch TV and asked me what to do.  I told her to write a story.  She played shy and was pretending that she couldn’t think of what to write about so I went back to some of my old lessons from elementary school about creative writing.

From that she has started a story and has had some ideas about others that she wants to write.   From these lessons, I have had to up my writing.  I have had to start thinking more about story structure and how to put scenes together.  I have always been a seat of the pants writer so this is getting into some different territory, even though I know what to do.

It continues to be a fun thing to do with her, get her to organize thoughts and ask questions of her character and her antagonist.  It is fun to see her think and then have to change something because it is too much like what was on Disney Channel yesterday.  We have had a plagarism talk as well.

I would suggest teaching someone how to craft a story if your writing is getting hard or a bit stale.  Show someone how to do it and you will gain a lot of insight yourself.  Besides it is a great way to interact with your kids that doesn’t involve the television, just their imagination.

I would love to hear your comments below!

-Justin

SAHD Friday: How to you delegate?

June 11, 2013 / / 3 Comments

Hello Folks.  Well as you have noticed, it is Friday and that now means it is Stay At Home Dad Friday!  from now on, I will have Friday posts just pertaining to Stay At Home Dad Stuff.  (If you didn’t catch the stylish acronym, SAHD is Stay at Home Dad.  It is also like “sad” which I may have to address later.)

Today, I want to look at how you divide up household duties to your kids based on their ages.  This is something that my wife and I are currently working on.  As may or may not be known, I have a 9 year old who is almost 10, a 7 year old and a 4 year old.  As of this writing, on 6/25 we are 10 days away from #4.

Our dilemma has been how much do we expect or how much should we expect from each kid.  Our 9 year old is wanting more and more responsibility and we are giving it to her.  She is old enough now to do thing like load the dishwasher or even mow the lawn.  The interesting thing, We haven’t had her doing much up until now so how much can we expect before a revolt?

So far it has been ok.  She cleans a bit more, and has a few more chores, and she does fine.  When the new baby comes I suspect that she will step up on her own and help to clean and take care of the baby.  Recently we raised her allowance to compensate for that.  I think she is ok.

Now for the 7 year old.  For the longest time, we had an inflated idea of what he could handle.  At 6, we actually had to scale back his chores slightly.  We found out that he could handle putting his clothes away but hanging up his shirts was a bit much.  We would try and try and yell and threaten to get him to hang up his clothes but it was just too much for him to handle.  We took that part out of his chores and he does very well.  Now, he voluntarily hangs up most of his clothes, because he can handle it now.

Likewise, the kids have been required to set and clear the table for dinner for a few years now.  One would set while the other would clear after dinner.  We are about ready to get the 4 year old involved with that.  Anyway, My son (the 7 year old) could clear the table but had a hard time wiping the placemats.  We took that out of his chores and he does much better.  Now he will wipe some of the table.

As for the 4 year old, her chores are cleaning up her room.  Just picking up her papers, shoes and a few toys.  She has a hard time some days.

Now, the biggest thing I have noticed with all of the kids is distraction.  They all get distracted.  They have small attention spans and are distracted by shiny or flashy things.  How do you get beyond that?  You have to observe your kids.  pay attention to what they can do.  Pay attention to what they like.  My son has always been fascinated with wheels.  He was 1year old and would hang over the side of the stroller to watch the wheels go around.

We used that in a bunch of learning games, trucks and wheels would get him to focus.  All in all that is what you have to figure out.  What works with your kids.  The hard part is not expecting all of them to be the same.  I have had a very hard time not holding the younger kids to the same benchmarks as the older one.  It is a continuous up and down observational period.

I think the biggest thing that you can do is to watch what works for the kids.  Watch what they do and what they can do.  Give them chores that seem appropriate and then add or subtract as they work.  You ultimately want to create a balance in what you assign them and what they can actually complete.  There is no simple formula.  There is no magic chart.  If there were, I would make a million dollars from it.  As it is, you just have to take my advice from experience.

Spend time with your kids.  Learn about them.  Give them opportunites to grow and feed their passions.  You may be surprised at what you end up with.

More next week!

-Justin

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