Oddities, Profundities, Profanities and Dad Stuff

Category: Funny Stories (Page 4 of 7)

Stories to laugh at

The Stupidest Comments of the Olympics

Hello all.  Well I am late posting now but finally my server is back up so I have access to my website.  It is kind of funny how you can have a small panic attack when you can’t access your stuff.  I also can’t seem to write very much on word for blog posts.  Dunno why that is.

Anyhow, I have been watching the Olympics lately like many other people around the world.  I have noticed that there are several of the commentators who seem to be there just because there was an opening and they needed a job.  Sometime late the night before the event they are on Wikipedia to learn something about the sport before they get on the air.

I am further convinced that they had a meeting of all the commentators before the Olympics and a challenge was thrown down.  “The person with the stupidest comment that is still in some sort of context with the sport will win!”  I don’t know what they will win besides a lifetime of humiliation and scorn from the broadcast community.  Nah, it won’t go that far, even Marv Alpert is back after he did his jail time.

The first set of stupid comments that my wife and I noticed were during the pairs skating.  The woman commenting told us that the audience was clapping to help the skaters out and keep them motivated.  It couldn’t have possibly been because the music became rousing and people were actually having fun in the audience.

Second entry:  Women’s downhill.  The commentator actually said “The one who crosses the finish line with the fastest time will win the gold!”  No #%^@ Sherlock.  This is my third favorite stupid quote of all time behind a football commentator, “The team that scores the most points will take this one!”  and a basketball commentator for the Utah Jazz, “If you get the ball in the basket more times than the other team you are going to win.”

Back to the Olympics: Third entry: Biathalon.  One of the ladies took a water bottle from the support staff and took a drink.  Happens all of the time I would assume.  That is a lot of skiing.  I would be thirsty.  The commentator said, “She is taking the time to get a drink, there is a long way to go and she needs to keep her body going.  Probably some sort of sport drink in there.”  As opposed to what an ice cold Coca Cola and get a sponsor credit in there?

I am sure there are many more that I have either not heard or can’t remember.  There was one at either the skating or the luge track that said something like “The ice has to stay cold or it will melt.”  There are some beauties out there.  Anyone else hear one that I have missed they would like to submit for the contest?

I have to go and prewrite something now.  Thanks for reading.

Justin

Why do Doctors have all of the time in the world?

I took my 3 year old to her transplant clinic appointment today.

I have taken her to many of them since she was diagnosed with kidney failure, and all through dialysis and now 7 months after her transplant.  It continuously amazes me how those clinics could give a jolly jack fart about your time yet freak out if you are any bit late to the appointment.  Granted some times it is quick but good grief.

Today, after I registered at the hospital (15 mins) and then waited for labs to be drawn (25 mins) I was about 20 minutes late for our appointment.  I thought that we would be next in line and sail through.  But I was of course WRONG!!!  although it was only another 35 minutes of waiting in the waiting room followed by another 20 of waiting in the clinic room.  All told, we spent 2 hours and 20 minutes for what amounted to 5 mins with the doctor and about that with the dietician and the social worker.

Oh well.  what can you do.  It’s not like complaining does any good, they just say that they are busy.  So what exactly is the point of making an appointment?  For that matter, what is the point of not just coming a half hour late?  I am sure you would still have to wait.  I should have brought my ketllebell, that would make them wonder, a sweaty guy swinging iron in the childrens hospital….maybe next month….

Justin

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Long Day’s and Taking a Day Off

Hello all. You will notice that this post is somewhere close to 7 hours later than I usually post. It has been, as the title suggests, a long day. I am not just trying to complain. I could do that. But I won’t. I did however learn how to take apart my laptop and get the punch out of it. Presidents Day and the kids home from school do not necessarily make for the writing time bliss that I have allocated for a normal day.

Suffice it to say, I have post ideas now but no posts written. Yet another reason to join the Pre-Writing Challenge! We are beginning February 19th and will be going for a month in order to have 2 weeks worth of posts prewritten. See my page Here for more info. Would have come in handy for today as it would have on Friday!

So this brings me to today’s post. I have been debating the virtues of taking the weekend off. This weekend I scheduled some tweets to go out on Saturday for my fiction posts and then I didn’t get back on the computer for much of anything! It was kind of nice, not chaining myself to my laptop but I have hardly any traffic to show for it.

This may not be a bad thing. The good news is that I actually had traffic for 2 days with hardly any promotion. Not much traffic, mind you but some. That is the first step to becoming one of the big bloggers I think. Getting traffic without doing anything. Of course if I don’t do anything during the week my blog will fade and I will turn into nothing but a statistic; one of the failed bloggers.

I still am not going to post on Sunday. I am still going to post fiction on Saturday and put out e-books of said fiction when they are all out there. I will have some posts to post when I have issues with life. I was beginning to question whether it was worth posting or commenting on the weekends. It may be. I don’t think I will be doing anything different though.

If you are reading this Thank you! I will have more tomorrow at a more reasonable time. And it will be about hitting things.
Justin

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