Oddities, Profundities, Profanities and Dad Stuff

Category: Funny Stories (Page 5 of 7)

Stories to laugh at

A quiz for the weekend!

hello all.  Today I have a quiz for you.  And no cheating!  There will be another quiz later.

Tune in Tomorrow for a new Story on Fiction Saturday!  Jackson Malone is still making his quest towards ebook status.

I have also been writing some fun fiction on the Creative Copy Challenge.  This is a site where twice a week we take 10 random words or phrases and turn them into a cohesive story. It is quite fun, I am 5 deep and hopelessly addicted.  You can read them on the site or I have them all chronicled on delphiusbogue.wordpress.com.  That story is just fun.

Now on to today’s Quiz.

The World’s Easiest Quiz…

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI’s first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?

Answers Below:  NO You FINISH the quiz first!

116 years, from 1337 to 1453.

Ecuador.

From sheep and horses.

November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.

Squirrel fur.

The Latin name was Insularia Canaria – Island of the Dogs.

Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.

Distinctively crimson.

New Zealand.

Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.

Constantly Amazed: Chronicles of a 8 month old.

8 months ago Tristan, my second son was born.  Despite everything that went on at the first, he is growing like a weed and doing all of the normal things that babies should be doing.  Even though he is my 4th child and I have watched the other three go through these same phases and it always amazes me that A- human babies do the same things as they develop, and B- they are constantly intrigued and amazed with the world.

Little brains are empty but tend to fill up with everything even though short term memory is really short.  String gets forgotten for toes, they get forgotten for remote controls, they get forgotten for the phone when it rings.  And put Mom on the speaker phone from work and the kid can’t figure it out.

Another fun toy: Ceiling fans.  Turn one of those on and it is good for at least a few minutes.  It is fun watching Tristan learning to rollover and try to crawl.  That should be sometime this week if it keeps going like it is.  It does really make me reflect on my other kids and how they developed the same way.  And differently!

Readers of this blog now know that my oldest is 10 going on 23.  Thinking back 10 years to when she was rolling over and trying to crawl puts somewhat of a sad smile on my face.  I love to remember all of them doing the same things but knowing that this is the last one is kind of sad.  Watching the baby jump up and down in the exer-saucer reminds me of my other son.  And how this will be the last one to use it….for a while.

The next 8 month old I will be observing will be my Grandchild, and good grief I am starting to think I am getting older.  I still feel like a kid but, wow.  So for now, I will be watching every tiny move that Tristan makes.  I have been very lucky to have been home to watch my kids grow up.  Seeing most of their milestones has been a fantastic experience that I can’t recommend highly enough.

It is fantastic even if you are not home watching the kids, it is exciting to go from something that just cries and poops to one that plays and is watching everything around his world with a smile to one who can do things for you and take the garbage cans out.  Benefits to having older kids even though I don’t trust them to mow the lawn; my wife wants to mow patterns and words into the lawn and I am not having any of that.

But back to the baby, we notice that he (like the others) finds EVERYTHING interesting.  Small bits of paper, shoes, and socks are great chew toys and I am convinced that it gives them a leg up on imagination later in life.  Case study: my nephew vs Cameron my 7 year old.  Nephew: loves sea life and dinosaurs.  Will play with them only how they were meant to be played with.   Cameron: loves cars and anything with wheels.  Plays with anything and everything in some way that makes them go fast and crash or transform into something else.  Drives my nephew nuts when a tyrannosaurus is riding a truck and jumps off to kill ninjas before the Army takes the dinosaur out.

Imagination rocks, I can’t wait to get him writing.  My 4 year old has a great imagination as well, the tales she was spinning for the kidney clinic staff the other day were hilarious.  The doctor was literally wiping his eyes from laughing so hard at this 4 year old in a princess dress.  I can only hope that Tristan will follow suit and be creative, just because we let him wander around his world and explore as long as he is safe about it.

I can’t wait for the long term ride that this is becoming.  Thanks for dropping by folks, there will be more to come I am sure.

-Justin

PS. I am working on a program that will be part instruction, part support group, part mastermind group and all about being a stay at home dad, released in modules until a whole book is finished.  Look for more details to come and let me know if you are interested in joining me.  Thanks again.

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Cantankerous Old Coots Unite!

Well folks I did something very impulsive last night.  I was sitting here trying to come up with some topic to write on.  I am tired and only partially fueled by caffeine.  My wife said I had that “look” and tonight’s post would be a doozy.  She has seen the writing frenzy that exhaustion and caffeine has wrought.

The problem was this.  Carlos sucked all of the ideas out of me during the PreWriting Challenge! Ok not really but it has been a day of writers block for post titles. I have a couple of story ideas though.  I had a thought this morning after taking the kids to school that I hope I was not running dry of ideas.  I am almost at my 3 month mark and ready to push past it.

I know there are more ideas, I just either need more sleep or more caffeine to make them flow.  Or some good inspiration.  I went and read some blogs, left some comments and tweeted a bit.  After that I went back to look at my comments just hoping there was something there.

And there was!  My internet buddy and purveyor of many life experiences Ralph(http://ralphcarlsonblog.com/wordpress/) had left a comment.  The discussion was about niches, and fitting in, when Ralph says,

“I am not sure that there is any market for cantankerous old coots but if there were, I’d claim it.”

I laughed and replied that I would sign up for the RSS feed of that.  I didn’t think much more about it until Dave Doolin pipes up with his sage advice to go claim it.  So I did.  Coming in the next week or so, I will have a bunch of work with another blog at www.cantankerousoldcoots.com.

I think I am going to fill the blog with the wisdom and rants of  those older than me, even though I am getting up there myself.  I hope to get Ralph to fill the first guest post with something profound, and later Dave with something that would be totally inappropriate on his site.

I need to create a badge….crossed Preparation H and Ben Gay over a grouchy old guy’s face….   Our motto could be “Whatever”  and our niche is “Advice for life from old coots.”  We of course would have to adopt a Red Green type lodge…  Hmmmm  there are many possibilities.  I would love to hear suggestions.  We would have bylaws too…if you are under 40 you need to have an old coot persona or you can’t be published.  Only rants on things that were better in the past could be posted.  Any bowel problems are better off on your own site unless they have a really funny punchline and a cute nurse involved.

Wow I must be tired.  This is going to be huge amounts of fun.  Let me know what you think in the comments and sign up for my newsletter, I will keep updates in that as well!

Thanks for reading!

-Justin

PS.  Ralph, this is a Kettlebell:

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