Oddities, Profundities, Profanities and Dad Stuff

Category: fiction (Page 4 of 8)

I Won A Cruise! A Very Strange Dream…

I had a strange dream the other night that I am not really sure what to do with.  Of course the thing to do is to share it on my blog. It isn’t very long, but it was strange.

Now, the dream.  I was sitting at home in my living room reading a magazine.  It must have been very enthralling because the phone rang and I threw the magazine in the air rushing to get the phone.  At this point I knew it was a dream because I have an answering machine if I am slow.  I don’t hurry to the phone.  But I did here. I didn’t even bother with the caller ID. (another dead giveaway this was a dream)

“Hello” I answered. “Hello sir! You have just won an all expense paid cruise to the Caribbean!” The voice from the other end said. “Great” I replied. “What do I have to do?” “Nothing.” they said. “Do you accept the cruise?” “Sure” I said not realizing what was to be involved.

A few days later a package arrived with details on my cruise.  I was going to be picked up from the airport in Miami and driven in a limo to the cruise line.  Everything was paid for, all I needed to bring was a set of old clothes, a shovel, and a cat no one would miss. This made me nervous.  Not for very long though, I had almost figured out how to get the shovel through security.

An internet search of large orange colored home improvement stores showed me where I could just buy a shovel. The old clothes were no problem, but where to get the cat…

The dream ended with me walking to an old girlfriends house carrying a pet box.

I am not sure what any of it meant at the time or has to say about my sanity, lack of it, or what can be interpreted by it. I am fairly sure I need to go hunting though….

Comments would be appreciated!
-Justin

Poetry Tuesday, back to normal?

douglas adams inspired "Hitch hikers guid...

Image via Wikipedia

Hello folks.  I am sure at least 1 of you is awaiting he next part of my series about our move, but you will be waiting until tomorrow.  I have decided that I am going to try and stick to my previous posting schedule.  That means, Monday’s off, Tuesday- Poetry, Wednesday-Thursday and Friday will be miscellaneous and Saturday will return to fiction.  If you noticed, Friday will only be SAHD here and there, I am working on a dedicated SAHD site.  Stay tuned for details.

So, in keeping with that and trying to fight another migraine, I give you a short poem that is incredibly silly.

It was inspired by the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, (see pic over there) if you haven’t read it you are missing out.  Go find it on Amazon and use my affiliate link.  Anyway early on in the book the heros encounter the Vogons.  Nasty creatures with the worst poetry in the universe.  The first poem in the book starts with “Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly…” and goes on from there.

Mine is not that bad, but, like I said, silly.  So, sit back, don’t panic, and enjoy “Ode to an Armpit”
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Poetry Tuesday: Confusion

Saturday with Friends and Family  028

Image by -DjD- via Flickr

Hello again folks.  Well I was digging again into some old papers and not only did I come across this little gem that you will shortly enjoy, but I found something like 6 copies of a story that I have been working on in parts since high school.

All of these starts were basically the same but all written on different scraps of paper at different times.  I need to collate and get that story written.  It is part 5 of a series that is probably my favorite thing I have ever written.  Maybe I will rewrite the whole thing from the start and put it up for fiction Saturday.  I am thinking of restarting that.

If anyone has been reading fiction saturday and remembers the Man In The Hazy Suit, you will remember that it isn’t finished.  I am going to rectify that and if you would like to read the ending, send me an email justin@catharsisofthebogue.com and I will send you the completed story for free!  No opt in, no joining my list (although that would be nice too), just free for the asking.  It will be finished before Valentines Day.

For now, here is some poetry!  I would still like to hear from you with any comments or questions or criticism or anything else.  Let’s talk!

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I Stinkius…

Before the meat of this story, This will be my 100th post on this site!  I am excited.  It is ok.  you can sit down and stop the fanfare.

Now,

I was training with my kettlebells the other day.  After I had finished, I picked my lungs up from the floor and headed to the shower.  That is where the title of this post hit me.

I, Stinkius, of the most sweaty and foul

do hereby declare mandatory bathing for all of the subjects in the realm.

At the outset of the kettlebell manifesto and implementation,

The de-stinky proclamation will be enforced.

This will include all members of the Empire from the oldest, (me) to the not yet born.  Your time will come.

Wherefore the decree will state that only through the act of becoming Stinkius will the kettlebell or the punching bag be effective to long term health, but the immediate implementation of the De-Stinky proclamation will be required.

Just something silly for Friday. It is snowing here in Salt Lake.  Head outside if you can!

Tomorrow is Fiction Saturday!  It was scheduled to be the end of Jackson Malone, but will it be???  I don’t even know.  I do know that the ebook that was going to accompany the finale will not be available until May 15th.

Due to some feedback and arm twisting by that evil mastermind Carlos over at Conscious Me, (who i am quite convinced is trying to take over the Blogistan (watch out Dave Doolin)) I am rewriting Jackson Malone for the ebook.  It is going to end up at novella length at this point, and there will probably be other stories starring him later.

So, tomorrow, Jackson Malone!  The end?  Maybe.  Ebook on May 15th.

Chime in if you will!

Justin

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